


Three Years Gone

by VeryFckingAmusing



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Rating May Change, Sexual Content, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 17:48:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryFckingAmusing/pseuds/VeryFckingAmusing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all the things Renly expected from this weekend (embarrassing speeches, boring conversation and perhaps Robert fathering yet another angel-faced illegitimate child with one of the go-getter interns) seeing Loras Tyrell wasn't one of them. He looked good. Better than he had three years ago, and Renly hadn't thought it was possible to improve perfection. But apparently, yes, put perfection in a tailored suit, it's an improvement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Of all the things Renly expected from this weekend (embarrassing speeches, boring conversation and perhaps Robert fathering yet another angel-faced illegitimate child with one of the go-getter interns) seeing Loras Tyrell wasn't one of them. But there he was, champagne flute in hand, talking animatedly to the creep from human resources whose name Renly could never remember. He looked good. Better than he had three years ago, and Renly hadn't thought it was possible to improve perfection. But apparently, yes, put perfection in a tailored suit, it's an improvement.

Renly's legs were drawing him towards Loras without him noticing. He had no idea what he wanted to say. Should he mention what happened? Should he apologise? Jesus, should he not be talking to him at all? Should he just run?

Before he could make a decision, Loras noticed him. His expression lightened further, grinning goodnaturedly, and he turned to say some parting words to his companion. Renly breathed a small sigh of relief. There were no hard feelings, it seemed.

"Renly, hi," Loras offered a hand to shake, "How are you?"

Renly shook his hand, ignoring the thrill he felt at contact, and shrugged, "Can't complain. Yourself? I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Or ever again, I'll bet. I wasn't expecting it either, but it's nice of Robert to invite everyone."

Renly didn't mention that it was definitely not Robert's doing, no matter what the invitation said. More likely, it was his sweet, pseudo-niece Sansa's doing. Her long standing infatuation with Loras mixed with her part time admin grunt job must've somehow aligned to bring Loras there tonight and Renly made a mental note to thank her for that.

"It's good to see you," he said instead, "You look really good."

Loras's smiled softened to something more meaningful and he nodded, "So do you."

There was a tense moment of silence between them, each testing the waters on whether to go _there_ with the conversation. Renly broke before Loras did, opting for the safer option to save his skin.

"So how's the enemy treating you?" he asked somewhat awkwardly.

Loras looked disappointed at the turn of conversation, or maybe Renly just hoped he did, but laughed, "Fairly well. I haven't forgotten my roots though. Three years on and I still miss this place sometimes."

Renly knew the feeling. Three years on and he still missed _Loras_ often.

"I hear I'm well shot of it though. Rumor has it Lannister's pulling out." Loras continued, taking a sip of champagne.

Renly leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "Careful now, nobody's supposed to know."

They laughed together at that. Lannister's potential split off as an independent company was the worst kept secret in the business. Trust Robert to run his mouth in a blind rage in the middle of his favorite strip haunt.

"No, it's not so bad, I'll be glad to see the back of them." Renly continued, "They'll do well on their own but I don't think Robert's in any real danger of going under."

Loras had finished his champagne and traded the empty glass off for a full one when a waiter walked past.

"Should be good for his blood pressure, at least," he said, "I fancy a smoke. Come outside with me."

Renly nodded for him to lead on and they made their way through the crowd to the balcony where just a few people had come to appreciate the view. Shame, really, Renly thought. It was a spectacular view. Loras lit a cigarette and offered another to Renly, who hesitated for just a brief moment before begrudgingly accepting.

"I shouldn't," he said even as he lit it and took a drag, "I quit."

Loras scoffed, leaning against the railing to stare out at the city, alive with the Saturday nightlife, "I'm sure."

Renly sighed at his own poor willpower and shook his head absently. A comfortable silence descended over them as they smoked. It was just like old times, really. He turned away from the spectacular view to appreciate the even more impressive sight next to him. Loras was breathtaking and Renly was disappointed to realise that he was just as enamored by the younger man as he was way back when. He'd hoped he was over this. Three years over it.

"How long are you in town for?" he asked when Loras turned to stare right back at him.

"Until Thursday. I've been meaning to come back for a visit, this seemed like a good excuse."

Renly nodded, "So you haven't been back?"

"No, this is my first trip back. I'm not sure what I'll do, there's not much here for me now Mags has moved. But I'm glad I saw you, Renly," he said, the soft, meaningful tone back in his voice.

Renly shivered and could hardly blame it on the pleasant weather. Loras's eyes, ever piercing and intense, were boring holes into his own. He knew there were words that were long overdue to pass between them but he couldn't bring himself to start. Thankfully, Loras had more courage.

"Renly, I don't hold any grudges, I hope you know. It was three years ago. I barely remember a thing." he said carefully.

Though it was what he wanted to hear, Loras's choice of words stung a little. Despite how horridly Renly had handled the situation, it hurt to think Loras had dismissed it completely, not even keeping it as a fond parting memory. But there was something in Loras's expression, and Renly didn't think he was making it up, that suggested he was telling less than half-truths. Taking a gamble, Renly moved in closer. The balcony was almost vacant but for some nobodies from finance so he wasn't too worried about invading Loras's personal space.

"I want to apologise..." he murmured, "I treated you like shit."

Loras smiled softly, "You didn't. You were great. I mean it, I'm not mad. I was leaving anyway, we would've parted sooner or later."

"Still..." Renly began, but was interrupted by Loras's hand resting lightly on his shoulder.

"Honestly, don't mention it." Loras said easily, "It's done. It's the distant past. God, it's years in the past."

Renly looked down, unable to keep his nerve under the penetrating eye contact.

"You're letting me off the hook too easily." he said regretfully.

Loras shrugged and took his hand away and Renly wished he wouldn't.

"I couldn't hold a grudge on you, Renly. Couldn't rightly taint a year of perfect friendship for one little slight." he grinned mischievously and Renly laughed despite himself.

"It was a great year." he agreed, "I haven't had an intern quite like you since. They're all too serious nowadays."

Loras chuckled, "I think you'll find I was the exception, not the rule. Following rules and keeping quiet were never really my thing. It's a miracle I stayed on for as long as I did, actually."

"Robert admired your spunk," Renly lied. It had been himself who had fought to keep Loras, hot headed and stubborn, for the duration of his internship even after his fight with Jaime Lannister.

The conversation shifted to much lighter things. Loras filled him in on his work and his family who Renly had always been slightly jealous of him for. Renly, in turn, caught Loras up on where everyone from their old circle was now, and confided in him his thoughts that maybe it was time for a career change. They discussed it at length and Renly realised how deprived he'd been of companionship lately. Usually he could talk like this with Brienne but she was waist deep in love with Jaime Lannister leaving very little time for anything else. It felt good to talk his thoughts out and by the end of the conversation, he thought he might be ready to make a decision about his career dilemma. He figured he wouldn't act until he was well rested and fully sober, though, just in case. They talked on until they were both yawning into every second sentence but when Loras brought up calling it a night, Renly was bitterly disappointed.

"Put your number in," Loras said as he handed Renly his phone, "I'll call you tomorrow afternoon and we can organise to go out. I've got to see this catastrophe first hand,"

He was talking about Brienne and Jaime, a revelation he had laughed at for five solid minutes earlier. Renly quite agreed. He passed his phone to Loras for him to do the same and when they swapped back, Loras smiled sleepily at him.

"It's been great catching up," he said almost hesitantly, like he wanted to say more.

Renly nodded, "It has. Thanks for... well, you know, being cool with..."

Loras cut his hopeless flustering short with a grin, "It's not a big deal. I'd better go, though."

"Sure, me too. I'll have to check up on Robert first, make sure he's not selling his shares off to some heiress." he wished he was joking but it was a very real prospect.

"Good night, Renly." Loras said softly, touching his hand yet again to Renly's shoulder. It was bloody intimate and it left Renly feeling warm.

"Good night." he replied as Loras started walking away. He watched him for as long as he could before he was lost to the crowd of stragglers.

Renly took a deep breath of night air and exhaled into a groan. Fuck.


	2. Two

_"Fuck, Loras... fuck..."_

_Loras's mouth was hot and wet on his shoulder, mouthing and sucking and biting down. His hands felt like they were everywhere, moving from his waist to his back to his hair, back down to his waist to grope his arse. Renly struggled to keep himself upright, let alone fumble with the keys to his apartment. Amazingly though he managed to unlock the door and they tumbled inside, slamming it behind them. Hands free, Renly took charge, pressing Loras's smaller body against the closed door and seizing him by the hips. He pulled him closer as he ravished his mouth and groaned at the contact and hard cocks between layers of denim and cotton._

_As Loras's tongue danced with his own, Renly nudged his legs apart with his thigh, bringing it up to rub on Loras's crotch. Loras let out an appreciative moan at being presented with something substantial to grind against and his head fell back, returning the favor by giving Renly a neck to lick. It went on like that until Loras's breathing became frantic and he had to push Renly away._

_"Bedroom," he murmured through heavy pants, "Now. Fuck me, Renly."_

_Renly wasted no time doing just that, directing Loras to his bedroom and laying him down on top of the covers. He divested himself of clothing quicker than he ever had in his life and watched Loras follow suit. Once they were unceremoniously naked, Renly pounced, pressing down and covering Loras thoroughly with his weight. Long legs wrapped high around his waist and fuck, if every inch of their unhindered skin rubbing together wasn't the best feeling in the whole damn world. Loras was making sweet, delicious little sounds that Renly was desperate to keep hearing. While he encouraged them by lavishing Loras's beautiful neck, his hand trailed a light path down his side to his ass, gripping it tight for a moment before seeking something further inward. Loras gasped at first contact and Renly froze momentarily._

_"You okay?" he asked breathlessly, staring down into half lidded eyes._

_Loras nodded and smiled gently, tone teasing as he remarked "You're far too concerned about my feelings for a one night stand."_

_Renly narrowed his eyes at him._

_"Yes, Renly," Loras deadpanned, "I'm okay."_

_Renly smiled wide and kissed him slow and langoriously before resuming his exploration._

What followed had been the best fuck on Renly's life. Hands down. Loras wasn't as experienced as some of his previous lovers but what he lacked in knowledge was insignificant next to their pure connection. Renly worshipped Loras. He was young and wild and beautiful, the kind of man a poet could become obsessed with. When it was over, Renly barely let Loras go long enough to clean them up. He wrapped him up in his arms and the blankets and held him all through the night. Then in the morning, he let go while Loras was still asleep and left.

  
-

  
Renly watched his phone like a hawk from the minute he woke up. When it finally rang, he was disappointed to find it was only Robert. He wondered grimly what mess his brother had gotten himself into that required his help.

"Your bloody mate..." Robert grumbled when he picked up the call.

"My bloody mate?" Renly repeated mildly, not in the least surprised that Robert still sounded a little drunk.

"Your bloody mate needs to learn to keep his mouth shut," Robert finished, "Or I'll do it for him."

Renly sighed, "I'll let him know. Who exactly are you planning to maim, may I ask?"

"Jaime bloody Lannister," Robert practically growled.

"Of course."

"Banging on about how his golden father's gonna put me out of business..." he huffed loudly, "Preening little shit."

"You didn't... do anything, did you?" Renly asked wearily.

"No," Robert sounded regretful, "I should've."

"You realise if you had taken the bait, you really would be out of business?" Renly pointed out calmly.

Robert grumbled and groaned on for a few more minutes, but once he was sure there was no immediate crisis to be handled, Renly just let him go on. His relationship with Robert was far less strained than it could, and probably should be, owing only to the fact that Renly had long since become indifferent towards his older brother's despicable ways. He could rightly make like Stannis and take every slight personally but it just wasn't worth the fighting, he realised. So he let himself zone out while Robert ranted.

The Jaime thing was interesting. A Lannister wouldn't be seen dead at a Baratheon function any more, not while the ink was still wet on the separation papers, so Robert must have heard his trash talking through some other outlet. He wondered if Jaime had gotten a little drunk and stupid himself and said something he shouldn't to the media.

Contrary to Robert's claim, Jaime and he weren't close. More friends by association, brought together only by a mutual fondness for Brienne. But he truly hoped Jaime hadn't slipped up and openly slammed his old business partner. As arrogant and sly as he was, Renly wouldn't wish the fury of Tywin Lannister on anyone. When Robert finally wore himself out and they said their goodbyes, Renly was aching for an end to the whole saga. He hoped desperately that the fallout from the split would be quick and painless and wondered for what seemed the millionth time how high value business tyrants could be so... petty.

But Robert's call did do one thing at least; distracted him. He managed to go the rest of the day without staring down his phone, too caught up in scouring the papers trying to piece together the events that had set his brother off. So when Loras did call just as he was pondering what to make himself for dinner, he was pleasantly shocked.

"Sorry it's so late," Loras said when he answered, "I've barely had a moment to sit down all day."

"I thought you were on a holiday."

"So did I," Loras said grimly, then laughed, "Marg's sent me a list of things she needs me to do while I'm here."

"Like?"

"Catch up with our old friends, take photographs of anything that's changed..." Loras answered, "Truthfully I would've much prefered a sleep today."

Renly hummed, "I know the feeling."

"Fallout from last night?" Loras asked knowingly and Renly smiled fondly.

"Better than expected. No imminent law suits, so I count it a win."

"So you're free tomorrow, then?"

Renly let out a bark of laughter before he could contain himself.

"What?" Loras asked, sounding startled and a little annoyed.

"No, don't- It's not that..." Renly was still chuckling, "It's just damn, you're smooth."

Loras relaxed into laughter as well and Renly couldn't stop himself pressing the phone tighter to his ear.

"Well, are you?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Dinner? At Vien. I almost went straight there the minute I arrived, I'm aching for a good risotto."

"They changed owners," Renly admitted, "It's still good but..."

"Not the same?" Loras sighed, "That's disappointing. Well, wherever's fine."

"I'll come pick you up from your hotel, if you'd like. There's a new place near the office that's quickly becoming a favorite."

"Great." Loras agreed, "Seven okay?"

"I'll text Brienne and Jaime tomorrow morning. They don't like disturbances this late." Renly scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh."

Renly frowned, "What?"

"Uh..." there was a pause, "No, nothing, that's fine. I'll see you at seven, yeah?"

"Okay." Renly replied slowly, feeling about ten steps behind.

They said a hasty goodbye and Renly was left to sit, dumbfounded for minutes after. His mind raced over the exchange. It sounded like Loras was disappointed because he'd been pushing for a one-on-one encounter. Though why would he? The whole idea of the outing (if he remembered the night before as clearly as he thought he did) was for Loras to gawk at the horror of the Lannister-Tarth trainwreck. It made no sense that Loras would want to spend an evening with him alone. Not after their last lone encounter. Renly figured he must have misunderstood Loras's mood change and hurried outside for a cigarette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the enormous wait on this one, guys! I actually had a lot pre-written but it got deleted while I was cleaning/organizing my files. So I've been trying to rewrite but it's been frustrating cos it's like 'Urgh, I've written this before' and 'That's not how it was originally' but yeah, I sucked it up and I'm back on track. Hopefully the wait for the next chapter isn't too long but I do ask that you're patient with me a second time because tomorrow I start my -trumpets- new job! So yeah, I may be a little distracted for a little while.
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you like the chapter and thanks so much for reading and commenting!! <3


	3. Three

"Leave him alone, Renly."

Brienne stared steel-faced even as he gaped and flustered uselessly.

"I mean it." she confirmed.

"I- he called me!" Renly blustered, cheeks heating under her glare.

"It's a miracle he can even stand to look at you!"

That deflated him instantly and he let his head fall to his hand with a defeated huff. Brienne shifted in her seat and sighed.

"Look, sorry..." she said, "I shouldn't have-"

"You're right, though," Renly interrupted, "I thought he'd hate me."

The waitress brought over their coffees and Renly's muffin, which Brienne immediately snagged.

"I'm starved," she mumbled at Renly's raised eyebrow, "I didn't think a person could crave carbs. But I am, I'm craving carbs."

Renly rolled his eyes, "If you don't like it, don't do it. Personally I think it's ridiculous that you're letting Jaime control your diet. I thought you were better than that."

"I'm not letting him control my diet!" she protested, glaring, "He couldn't if he tried. It's just that he keeps going on about how hard it is to eat right so I'm trying to prove he's being a child."

"By stealing my food?" Renly reached across the table as she made to devour the second half, "Give that back."

"I'll pay for it," she insisted, "Please?"

Renly rolled his eyes and slid the plate back towards her.

"Fine."

"Thanks. Look, I just have to keep it up when he's around. I don't actually care about eating right, I'm just trying to prove a point. Besides, lord knows Jaime cheats. I've seen the type of crap you have in that lunch room."

"True. Though the triple daily donut deliveries are mainly for Robert's benefit."

Renly took a sip of his coffee and blanched, ripping open three sugar packets.

"You'll come, though, right?" he insisted as he stirred, "Tonight?"

Brienne scoffed, "Yes, only to stop you from treating Loras any worse."

"Brienne, please," he sighed, "I get it."

Conversation lulled again as they both turned their heads to the front window, watching the early morning traffic along the sidewalk.

"Loras Tyrell, huh..." Brienne said after a moment.

Renly looked across at her wearily but her expression was merely curious so he let her go on.

"Didn't think I'd ever hear that name again."

"I know, neither did I." Renly mused, smiling a little to himself, "He looked good."

"Renly."

He huffed frustratedly, "Brienne, seriously. Leave me alone about it, alright? He's fine, I'm fine... It's ancient history."

"What do you mean, 'he's fine'?"

"I told you, he was fine at the party. He said it didn't bother him."

Brienne gave him a cold look.

"Like he's going to admit you hurt him?"

"He said..." Renly mumbled weakly.

"You broke up with him via text, Renly. A year of dancing around each other, you finally hook up and you text him goodbye. That's not fine."

She set down her empty mug and threw a handful of coins on the table.

"I'll see you tonight." she said quietly, "Sorry, Ren."

  
-

  
Renly almost cancelled dinner. His day went from miserable to worse when he got to work and discovered Robert had released a counter-statement calling Jaime a coward, and then from worse to worst when Tywin Lannister got involved. He spent the majority of the day sending emails back and forth with anyone who would listen, trying to balm the wounds before anyone said 'sue'. By the time he left the office, Renly didn't want to be anywhere near Jaime or Brienne, and he didn't think it would be wise to let Loras see how run down he was.

But as he pulled his phone out to make an apology call, he noticed a text.

_Stupid iron in my stupid hotel is broken. Have to wear the same outfit I wore Saturday minus the jacket. Don't say a word. :P_

Vigor renewed, Renly rushed home to get ready.

  
-

  
Loras was waiting on the curb when Renly arrived, arms crossed tight across his chest making his shoulders bulk deliciously. Before Renly could even unbuckle his seatbelt, Loras was sliding into the passenger seat and slamming the door shut.

"Sorry, it's freezing out," he explained, "I should've added the jacket but I thought you couldn't resist teasing."

"I'm already struggling." Renly admitted, taking care to look Loras up and down thoroughly, "You know you can ask the hotel for another iron? You're Loras _Tyrell_ , they can spare another iron."

Loras preened, "I love being reminded."

"Do you want my jacket?" Renly offered as he merged back onto the road.

He was laughed at for his trouble.

"No thanks, dear." Loras chuckled, "I'll be fine in the restaurant, right?"

Renly nodded, "Should be."

A comfortable silence fell over them, though Renly could feel Loras staring.

"What?"

"You look ragged."

"Thanks very much." Renly frowned, "Do you want to walk?"

Loras shrugged, "I didn't say it was a bad thing. Personally I think 'harassed and over it' is a sexy look for you. I was just observing."

Renly rolled his eyes but could help smiling, "Long day. Forgive me if I'm less than cordial to Jaime tonight."

"Oh good, it'd be uncomfortable if it was just me."

"You haven't seen him in three years, you can't seriously still hold a grudge?" Renly said, regretting the words instantly. Thankfully, Loras didn't seem to notice how close to home he was.

"I can and I do. Plus, he's dating Brienne now so I've got a new reason."

"He does well by her." he laughed at Loras's disbelieving stare, "Truly. Mostly because he's afraid of her, I think, but still..."

"Hm."

"That said, he still treats everyone else like shit. The bonds of friendship don't stop him making my job a nightmare, it would seem."

"And you'd defend him."

Renly laughed and shook his head fondly.

"Ah well, someone's gotta keep the peace, eh?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit filler-y but things'll pick up once they get to dinner next chapter, so bare with! Thank you guys so much for all the lovely comments, you're all amazing <3 xx


	4. Four

"Is Brienne wearing a _dress_?"

Renly shushed him urgently, "Yes, I know. Don't say anything, she's still self conscious about it."

"I mean, she looks good, but..." Loras whispered back as they watched Jaime and Brienne approach, "Looks like she's still getting a hang of those heels."

Renly bit back a snort and attempted to change his scandalised grin to a polite smile. Brienne's stare was suspicious but Jaime seemed none the wiser as he sized Loras up.

"They say distance makes the heart grow fonder." he said as the hostess brought them over to join their table, "I hope you'll forgive me but I can't say I agree. I'd forgotten all about those ill-fitted suits you favor."

"And I'd forgotten that self-satisfied, pompous smirk you insist on wearing with everything." Loras replied coolly as if he wasn't phased in the least, though Renly caught him fidgeting with his sleeves. Personally, Renly couldn't see the issue with Loras's clothes. Expect maybe that he was wearing any.

"And _I'd_ forgotten why I was glad to see you go," Brienne interrupted, though she was smiling warmly as Loras stood and embraced her, "Good to see you, Loras."

"And you. Were you really glad to be rid of me?"

"Of course not. Morning jogs are awfully lonely without you."

Loras cringed, "I'd forgotten all about that. I can't believe how early we got up."

"You don't do it anymore?" Renly asked over Brienne's tutting.

"Not since I moved," he admitted, "The fresh air must've cleared my senses."

"Ah yes," Jaime interrupted, "How is quaint little Highgarden? Thriving? _Growing strong_?"

Loras scowled, "Not so quaint any more, ever since we surpassed Casterly's tourism income."

Jaime choose to ignore the dig, chuckling, "Truly inspiring words, those. Really encapsulates the Highgarden spirit. 'Getting there', it should say, cut right to the chase."

"I'm so glad I suggested this." bemoaned Renly, swapping bored glares with Brienne.

"Can I show you the drinks menu?"

"Please!"

-

  
Jaime and Brienne saw the drinks menu several times throughout the night until the waitress seemed hesitant to hand it over. To be fair, Renly had tried to stop them.

"You both have work tomorrow," he'd said wearily as they were delivered their next round.

He'd been plainly ignored.

"Look, it's not- Here, you're supposed to swirl then sniff, not stick your bloody nose in there already..." Jaime insisted, demonstrating a little too vigorously with his own wine glass.

When it became clear they planned to taste test their way through the entire menu, Renly shrugged helplessly at Loras and they continued with their meals, ignoring their companions.

"So how's Margaery, then?" Renly asked, prompting a wide, sweet smile.

"She's good. Really good. I was worried for her, leaving uni, y'know? She was so in her element in that environment. But turns out she can do it anywhere; that monarchy thing."

Renly laughed, "I never doubted it. And your brothers?"

"Great," Loras nodded, "Garlan's expecting his second soon. Willas still hasn't settled, though he's awfully secretive about it so we think there might be someone on the low down."

"Sordid."

"Mm. And you?"

"Hm?"

"Seeing anyone?"

Renly laughed at Loras's smirk. Unfortunately, Jaime chose that moment to come back to the conversation.

"No," he interjected loudly, "He's still pretending the closet doors aren't made of glass."

Brienne was caught between scolding him and laughing with him but Renly felt cold.

"Shut your mouth, Lannister." Loras snapped suddenly.

"You." Jaime mumbled, but neither Loras nor Renly were paying him any attention.

"I shouldn't have asked. Sorry, Renly."

Renly could only smile tightly.

  
-

  
It was no surprise that Jaime and Brienne were in no state to drive by the end of the night, and as much as Renly didn't want to be anywhere near them at the moment, he bedgrudgingly offered to take them home. Remarkably, the most tense moment of the trip wasn't the fact that the happy couple were playing a rushed, sloppy game of chicken in the backseat. Instead, it was when they pulled in outside Loras's hotel.

"Thanks for the ride," Loras quietly, smiling tiredly at him, "And dinner. I really did have a great time."

"I did too," Renly smiled, "Thank you for letting me take you out."

"My pleasure."

They were just straggling for sentences to draw out their time now and they both knew it. Renly's eyes flicked to their audience, who had the sense to look embarassed.

"We're not even here!" Jaime proclaimed, covering his ears.

Renly winced.

"I'm sorry about these two," Renly had to speak a little louder over the chant of 'We're not listening' that Brienne had joined in on, "I should have been regulating their drinks."

"It's fine. Uh, I'd invite you inside, but..." he gestured to the drunken pair in the back, "You've got to get these two home."

Renly nodded, disappointed but soaring with the realisation that he could, feasibly, if he dumped his friends in the middle of the road, go upstairs. And it was no less than they deserved.

"Unless you'd like to come back afterwards?" Loras pressed.

"LA LA YES HE WOULD BLAH BLAH NOT LISTENING!"

Renly took a moment to lament how tired he would be all day at work the next day, but reason would'nt take hold and he found himself nodding enthusiastically. Loras beamed.

"I'm number 23," he said as he unbuckled his seatbealt and fished in his back pocket. He handed Renly a card.

"My spare key." he explained.

Renly stammered uselessly for a moment before nodding, "Sure, thanks."

"Uh..." Loras cringed at the backseat where the game of chicken seemed to have resumed, "It was nice seeing you both."

"I'll make sure they get the message tomorrow." Renly assured him once he'd come to his senses.

Loras grinned again and closed the car door, "See you in a few, yeah?"

"Yeah, cool." Renly wished he could come up with something smoother, maybe slightly suggestive, but he really wasn't on his best game tonight. Fortunately Loras still seemed charmed. He'd invited him in, hadn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just FYI, I adore every single comment you leave. I don't respond because I feel like that'd annoy you guys or something but know that they make me so, so happy. So thank you very much, the Game of Thrones/Renly&Loras fandom is easily the kindest and most generous I've ever been in and it's my absolute pleasure to contribute my little part.


	5. Five

Even Jaime and Brienne's merciless teasing and inappropriate comments couldn't break Renly's euphoria as he broke a few traffic laws to get them home. He dropped them off outside their house, then begrudgingly helped them inside when it looked like they weren't going to make it alone. Jaime headed immediately for the sitting room to try and coax Renly into joining him for a little Xbox (having seemingly forgotten Renly's other plans) but Brienne was ready to crash. Renly helped her into bed and set a glass of water and some painkillers on her bedside, all the while checking his watch anxiously. When he couldn't convince Jaime to go to bed on his second try, Renly gave up, making sure all their doors were locked and marvelling at what a good friend he was as he ran back to his car.

When he arrived at Loras's hotel, he had to refrain from running up the stairs, since it was fairly late and he figured the other guests wouldn't be too pleased. At Loras's door, he took a deep, shaky breath to calm himself and then knocked.

"Come in."

Loras's room was surprisingly humble, considering who was staying in it. Loras himself stood in the middle of the room, hands clutched within each other, smiling a little tightly. It took Renly a few moments to register the warm, orange glow coming from a small gathering of lit candles on the coffee table. Renly looked from the candles to Loras several times, prompting an unsteady chuckle.

"I was sort of trying to, y'know... put the moves on."

"I can see that," Renly muttered, dumbstruck, "Candles, Loras?"

Loras glared, "Shut up. But look, forget it, because I realised halfway through how ridiculous it was. I mean, that wasn't even a date, and-"

"Loras!" Renly interrupted him when Loras's discomfort became hard to watch, "It's okay, you don't have to- It's fine."

Loras drew in a sharp breath and held it for a moment, then exhaled with a puff. He smiled weakly and Renly returned it.

"Thanks. Sorry, again," he said, "I don't know what I was thinking."

Renly couldn't resist teasing a little now Loras had calmed, and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"I think I can guess," he said, slowly drawing closer, "Did you invite me back here to... y'know?"

"Bump and grind?" Loras suggested, grinning weakly.

"Do the do?"

"Make some friction?"

"Bury the one-eyed worm?"

Loras made a face and cringed and they both laughed.

"Never say that again," Loras requested, "But yeah, that was the intention."

"I'm flattered." Renly chuckled but he surveyed Loras's face carefully, "But?"

Loras sighed, "But, I dunno. When I stopped thinking about how good your arse looks in those trousers or how much sexier you look with a beard or the way you've been looking at me all night, I realised it wasn't such a good idea."

Renly blinked, "That's a lot to take it. Well, uh, thank you, thank you and I didn't realise I was that obvious."

Loras scoffed, "Sorry, Ren."

"So what changed your mind?" Renly asked, "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, no," Loras rolled his eyes, "Stay. C'mon, let's have a smoke."

Renly followed, still slightly awestruck, and they settled into the decidedly uncomfortable chairs on the tiny balcony of Loras's room. Loras offered him one of his smokes but Renly sheepishly revealed his own pack.

"I feel like I should apologise for bringing you back over to the dark side." Loras chuckled.

"Don't." Renly insisted, "These are from the bottom drawer of my bedside cabinet. I keep them for 'emergencies'. Don't listen to me when I say I quit, I'm a bloody liar. "

They laughed together at that and then sat in silence for a few moments, watching the smoke tendrils from their cigarettes swirl and mix together in the air and then dissipate. Minutes passed before Renly looked over at Loras expectantly, who sighed, resigned.

"I really do want to hook up with you, Renly." he admitted, "You're a great shag. It's just... last time..."

Renly had a feeling it was coming from the minute they'd begun talking about sex and the possibility of it between them, but it made him cringe nonetheless.

"Look, Renly, don't start apologising again. It's not like I'm still jaded." Loras continued, sensing Renly's unease.

"But you were?" Renly finished for him.

Loras nodded.

"I wasn't upset that it happened, god no. And the text didn't bother me-" he nodded adamantly when Renly made to protest, "Seriously, it didn't. I'm not a princess, Renly, I know you're a busy man. And the fact stands that whether you'd left in the morning or not, I was leaving that day anyway. It's just that in the text, you said you'd call me. And..."

"I didn't."

"You didn't." Loras's voice was small, "And I mean, drunken hook up or not, I thought we were good friends. You were my best friend, actually, as pathetic as that sounds."

"I was going to call." Renly blurted, eyes wide and mind slightly numb.

Loras rolled his eyes.

"I was!" he insisted, "I mean, I know that doesn't mean anything, but I had the phone in my hand. But I didn't think you'd want to hear from me. You didn't respond to the text so I figured-"

"I wasn't going to respond to a hit and run announcement!" Loras protested, "Come on, Renly, I said it didn't bother me, not that I'm desperate!"

Renly couldn't fault his reasoning. He couldn't say he'd be too eager to reply to a text like the one he'd sent, and he didn't have half the pride Loras had.

"I can't justify it." he said finally, "Any of it. I never said I could."

"I know," Loras nodded, "I never said you had to. I'm just explaining why I changed my mind. I just didn't want, y'know... A repeat performance."

"Sure." Renly said dully, "That's sensible."

"Don't pout," Loras smiled slightly, "I'm missing out, too. Your arse really does look great."

Renly smiled back and took a long drag of his cigarette.

"Can I ask something?"

"You already-"

"Shut up." Loras glared, "I just wanted to know why. Y'know, why you left in the first place, not the 'not calling' thing."

"You know why." Renly sighed.

"Because you're not out of the closet?" Loras looked a little pained, "You knew from the beginning I was okay with that, Renly. Did you not think you could trust me?"

Renly shook his head and moved his free hand over to clasp Loras's wrist.

"No, Loras, of course not." he said, "I just... didn't want to do that to you. The 'secret' thing. It's shit. It's hard work and the rewards are few and far between, and they never last. That's why I don't do relationships; I can't force someone I truly care about to live that way for me."

"Maybe that isn't always your choice."

Renly smiled distantly, "I thought you'd say something like that, even before. That's why I didn't give you opportunity to say it."

Loras shook his head, looking lost for words. He stammered a little, starting and stopping sentences. Renly stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray while he waited, noticing Loras had discarded his own long ago.

"But does that mean you..." he finally managed, "What, you wanted to be with me? Like, a relationship."

"I'd never wanted to try with anyone so bad before." Renly admitted, turning away when he couldn't stand the intensity of the eye contact, "You were my best friend too."

His head was forcefully turned back by Loras's palm on his cheek and suddenly his lips were captured in a searing kiss. His grunt of surprise became a moan when his senses were assaulted all at once by Loras; his scent, the feel of his hair in his clutched fists, his tongue prodding for entry. As he opened his mouth and the kiss became deep and erotic, Renly's hands moved down to Loras's waist, pulling forward to try and shift him onto his lap. Loras didn't budge, and when Renly applied a little more force, he pulled back entirely, eyes glazed. Renly blinked and panted.

"I'm sorry," Loras blurted, "Fuck, I shouldn't have... That was stupid-"

"I'm quitting my job." Renly interrupted loudly, "I've wanted to for ages, I'm gonna do something I enjoy. I'm quitting on my own terms so I don't have to worry about Robert firing me."

"Renly, no," Loras rolled his eyes, "You're not- You're just thinking with your cock."

"I'm not!" Renly insisted heatedly, grabbing Loras's hands and holding them tight, "I hate that job and I hate how working for Robert has made me live. I want to be with you, Loras."

"Look, I think it's great you want to broaden your horizons, but-"

"Loras, I'm serious, I'm doing it. I want the real thing. I want to work somewhere I love doing whatever makes me happy and I want to be with you. Properly."

"Renly, stop!" Loras frowned, shaking his head, "I get it!"

"So?"

"It's ridiculous, Renly. We barely know each other any more." he spluttered, "I mean, yeah, the career change sounds great, but not- We can't- I live in Highgarden, for god's sake!"

Renly would never admit it, but he hadn't considered that. He hadn't even given thought to the fact that Loras would only be around for two more days.

"I have a job and my family, we'd never see each other-" he gave Renly a stern look, "And don't even think about saying you'll move to Highgarden or I think I'll push you off this balcony, I swear."

Renly shook his head and murmured, "I wasn't."

Loras huffed, panic subsiding.

"I'm sorry, Renly. I want all that for you; the proper relationship and being open thing. You deserve it. Just not with me."

Renly couldn't think of anything to say to that, stewing in a miserable combination of embarrassment and disappointment.

"Can we just enjoy these next few days?" Loras asked quietly.

Renly looked at Loras. The other man's brows were drawn with concern and eyes slightly misty. No matter how ashamed he was, Renly couldn't deny that face anything. He smiled.

"Of course." he nodded, "But I should go."

"Yeah."

Loras walked him back to the door and took his spare key back when Renly offered it.

"I'm sorry, again," he said, "I shouldn't have... Any of it."

"It's okay."

"I'll call you tomorrow around lunch time. We're going to do something tomorrow night." Loras said firmly, "And it won't be awkward because I've only got two days left to enjoy you."

Renly scoffed, "Sure. Good night, Loras."

"Good night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news everyone! I've completely finished writing this, so there'll be no delays with uploads from now til the end. I'll still leave some breathing room between chapters but yeah, just thought I'd let you know. Also, sorry this chapter is longer than the others, I couldn't really help myself :S Thanks for reading!!  
> P.S Shame of all ya'll in the comments thinking Renly was gonna bail. Have you no faith in our Ren?? :P


	6. Six

Renly skipped work the next day. When the alarm jolted him awake at 7:00, he found himself distinctly void of all motivation whatsoever. He sent a short text to Sansa, letting her know he wouldn't be in. She responded almost instantly and Renly chuckled at how seriously she was taking her role as administrator. She'd even called him 'Mr Baratheon', bless her.

Buried back under the covers and drifting in and out of sleep, Renly's mind began conjuring a hazy situation that was half dream, half memory. The who, where and the subject matter were plucked straight out of that night three years ago but his drowsy brain could almost imagine Loras was there, then. Kissing him roughly and rubbing against his body in a way that had made Renly laugh breathlessly at how eager he was. He was quickly silenced, however, by Loras's lips slowly burning a path down his torso, tongue occasionally tasting his skin.

Renly's hand mapped the trail he remembered, other arm thrown over his eyes to block out the sun that threatened to white out his fantasy. Dream-memory Loras wasted no time taking Renly's hard, leaking cock in his mouth and Renly was disappointed to note his own palm paled in comparison. Still, spurred on by memories of the way Loras whimpered and moaned around his length as if it were coated in honey echoed in his mind and heightened his arousal. Loras hadn't sucked him off, too eager for Renly's cock inside him to wait for him to recover, but he'd brought Renly close countless times before pulling back with a wicked grin.

Renly didn't have the restraint for such delays and he pumped his hand faster, his own moans sounding much clearer than the ones in his head. He squeezed his eyes shut hard and remembered the way Loras mounted his hips and took him to the hilt, back arching severely and firm arse filling Renly's hands. Curls tangled and eyes hazy, Loras had taken in several shaky breaths punctuated with tiny whines and Renly had been shocked and awed to realise that there mere initial joining was enough to bring Loras to the brink, requiring a pause to control himself. The thought had Renly coming hard, heels pressed into the mattress and hips lifting high off the bed into his own hand. He panted through it and his wrist still worked until his legs began to shake and he couldn't continue. Fishing a handful of tissues from his bedside table, he made quick work of the clean up before he allowed himself to revel in exhausted euphoria and self satisfaction. Once his breathing and heart rate slowed, sleep retook him for several hours.

Renly only managed to coax himself out of bed when his stomach started rumbling. His limbs were stiff and he smelled a little offensive, but he found some bread for toast in his cupboard so he didn't have to worry about showering. He sat on his couch, chewing toast, staring out the window and just looking generally pathetic, reasoning he'd earned a personal day after his complete humiliation.

At 12:30, after working his way through the very worst of daytime television and half a loaf of bread, Renly was roused from his stupor by another text from Sansa.

Mr Loras Tyrell visited for you. I told him you were ill but he said he'd try your home anyway. I'm sorry.

Renly barely had time to send a quick 'It's fine, stop apologising' in response before he had to throw himself into a shower. He figured he had ten minutes, give or take, before Loras arrived, and that was if he was taking a particularly slow taxi. He managed to shower in five and spent the remainder frantically clearing the clutter from his flat. When Loras knocked, he spared one last despairing look at his still disasterous living area before opening the door.

"Skiving off?" Loras grinned, "I wish you'd told me and saved me the trip."

"I... wasn't expecting you." Renly frowned.

"Well, no, I guess not," Loras shrugged carelessly then looked Renly up and down, "Oh, were you heading out?"

Renly shook his head and ran his hand through still damp hair.

"No, I was just..." he floundered, "You said you'd call, so..."

Loras surveyed him suspiciously, "Right. Well, I was going to see if you wanted to sneak off and get a little lunch but since your whole day's free, do you want to help me shop? Margaery's insisted I bring souveniers back for everyone, as if they haven't all been here a hundred times."

Renly chuckled, "You've got to learn how to say no to that girl. But sure, I'd love to. Let me just, y'know... dry off."

Loras chuckled.

  
-

  
Despite complaining, Loras was painstakingly considerate about his gifts for his family. Renly listened to him reason aloud and watched the ever-present grin on his face whenever he talked about them and felt warm. While he'd never felt anything close towards his own family and they display made him just a little jealous, he adored Loras's compassion. After they finished shopped and grabbed a late lunch, Renly drove Loras back to his hotel. He parked on the curb and they turned to smile at each other.

"I won't invite you in," Loras said, "Because, well..."

"Not a good idea."

"Not so much, no." he laughed, "But thanks for coming with me."

"My pleasure." Renly said, letting his head fall back against the headrest and sighing.

"What?" Loras asked.

Renly looked at him for a long moment.

"I'm going to give Robert my notice tomorrow."

Loras nodded slowly, "Nervous?"

"A little. He won't be mad, I don't think. Anyone can do my job. I'm more worried about what comes after." he said, looking away before admitting, "I want to teach."

Loras gasped, prompting Renly to look back around.

"Renly, you'd be an amazing teacher," Loras enthused, "Wow..."

"Well, thanks..." Renly flushed a little, "It's just that it'll be so different. Life, everything... I got this job because my brother's the boss. I've never had to really work towards anything before."

"Ah, welcome to the real world," Loras winked good naturedly.

"Excuse me? You work for your parents, kid."

"But I started at the bottom like everyone else."

Renly rolled his eyes, "Thanks for that. I may be quitting but that's my family business you're talking about."

"You know what I mean." Loras waved a hand, "But Renly, I'm really happy for you."

His smile was infectious and soon they were grinning at each other like a pair of fools.

  
-

  
As predicted, Robert wasn't angry. Unpredictably, the first thing he said was, "Did Stannis do something?"

Renly took a moment to baffle over the question before shaking his head.

"I- No, Robert, Stannis didn't... do anything. Why would you think he did?"

"He's enough to make me want to pack it in." Robert said gruffly.

"It wasn't Stannis. It wasn't anything, I just want to do something else with my life."

"Like what, go back to school?" Robert snorted, "Fight your way back up the ranks with no help?"

Renly frowned, "That's the way the rest of the world does it. If they can, so can I."

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you have to, Renly. Most kids would kill to be in your position."

"I don't think they'd kill," Renly rolled his eyes, "I'm not saying I don't appreciate the benefits I was born with."

"Well, good." Robert huffed.

Renly sat in silence for a moment, wondering if he'd been dismissed.

"Give me until the end of this week to find a replacement?" Robert requested.

"Oh, yes, of course." Renly nodded, "I think you can actually take a month, legally-"

"Bah! Forget that, if you're so eager to go chasing your dreams I won't hold you any longer," Robert shook his head, "I'll be sad to see you go, Renly."

Renly couldn't think of anything to say in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bumped up the rating cos actual genitals were mentioned :O Thanks for the comments and kudos, ya'll are magnificent <3


	7. Seven

"So it wasn't strange at all?" Loras asked, "I'd thought there might be a few rumors flying around, considering you're leaving just after Lannister split."

Renly shrugged, "Not really. Either people don't care or they know me well enough to know I'd not follow them five steps down the bloody road. Though I'm guessing it's the first."

Loras scowled and Renly smiled at him fondly. He'd driven directly to Loras's hotel after work to take him to an early dinner at a small bar near the river. They sat outside at one of the high tables watching the sky darken and the last ferries of the day pass by. Renly wished he'd taken another sick day, the prospect that Loras was leaving the next day looming in the back of his mind.

"My flight's at 9:30." Loras announced as if he'd read Renly's mind, "Can I not convince you to take the morning off?"

"You just want a free ride to the airport," Renly teased but nodded, "Of course."

"It's odd. I feel like I've been here much longer than four days. That's normally not the way with holidays. But I admit I'll be glad to be home."

Renly hummed absently but he winced internally. Loras didn't miss the sad flash in his eyes.

"Seeing you has been the highlight," he assured him softly, "But I miss my family. And my own bed."

Renly nodded, "Makes sense."

"Besides, you won't even notice I'm gone," Loras claimed, "You'll be unemployed in a few short days, then you'll really have something to worry about."

Renly shuddered, "Don't even joke about that. You know I have no idea where to start?"

"Getting a degree might be a good place."

"Well yes, of course, but that won't pay the bills." Renly protested, "I should have just asked for less hours so I could study part time. But I knew if I tried that I'd psych myself out and just stay for good."

"Sure," Loras nodded, "Look, it's not going to be hard for you to find something. You've got plenty of experience, you've got the name- I mean, you can list Robert Baratheon as your reference for god's sake!"

Renly cringed, "I don't think I'll do that. Aside from it not really tying in to the whole 'making it on my own' theme, I don't think I could stand Robert knowing I'll probably end up working in a fast food joint."

"There's no shame in that."

"He'd disagree."

Loras rolled his eyes, "Charming man."

It was completely dark when they left the bar, but it was still early. They took a walk down the riverside, the cool air causing them to hunch over in their jackets. When the breeze picked up, Loras linked his arm through Renly's and rubbed their shoulders together, but they pressed on. They came to a gazebo which provided a little shelter from the wind and also a gorgeous view of the river with the city skyline behind it. They stood, staring, and then suddenly Loras was kissing him.

It wasn't heated and urgent like at his hotel, but sweet and lingering. Loras sucked leisurely on Renly's lower lip, wrapping his arms around his neck. Renly settled his own around his waist, pulling his flush against his body. Loras sighed into his mouth, tilting his head to kiss deeper. Renly couldn't concentrate on anything but Loras's lips long enough to contemplate why they were kissing, so he just let it happen. Loras slipped his fingers into the collar of Renly's shirt, lightly caressing the top of his spine, and Renly reciprocated by moving both hands to Loras's arse, squeezing cheekily. Loras made a low, aroused noise and pulled back.

"Stop that." he admonished, laughing breathlessly, "That was a nice moment, you lecherous bastard."

Renly chuckled, "Sorry."

Loras pressed a short peck on his lips and then detached his arms from his neck, moving to stand back beside him. Renly frowned for a long moment.

"Uh..."

"Yes?"

"Why... did you just-?"

Loras looked up at him and shrugged, "The moment called for it. Sorry."

He didn't sound sorry at all but Renly thought he should be, since he was on the brink of becoming crazed and insistent again. Before he could, however, Loras suggested they return to the car.

Loras kissed him again in the car. In fact, he very nearly climbed in Renly's lap before he came to his senses and allowed Renly to drive them to his hotel. Renly silently fumed as he drove, heart racing erratically. He'd never been simultaneously furious and happy, and it was an odd mix. He fought to quell the happiness though, because come 9:30 he wouldn't have a thing to be pleased about. Loras must have caught on to his mood because when Renly pulled in outside the hotel, he looked quite guilty.

"I am sorry," he insisted quietly, "I can't help myself."

"I just-" Renly sighed, "I wish I knew what it meant to you. You say you don't want to be with me-"

"Can't," Loras interrupted, "Not won't."

"Wait, so- Do you have feelings for me?"

"Of course, Renly." Loras said softly, "It's not just physical for me either."

"So if things were different?" Renly asked, "If we didn't live so far apart?"

"I'd take you upstairs and never let you leave." Loras promised, "Not until we got hungry, at least. Then we'd go get some food together. We'd hold hands and kiss in the restaurant and argue over who pays because we're boyfriends and we can do that."

Renly kissed him that time, and he suddenly understood Loras's sentiment; he couldn't help himself. Loras melted eagerly into the kiss, cupping Renly's neck. When they broke apart, Renly placed a hand on Loras's cheek, who closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"I want all that." he whispered.

"I know," Loras replied sadly, "Me too."

Renly sighed heavily, "I'll pick you up at 8:30 to take you to the airport."

Loras nodded and then his eyes brightened and he grinned, "Hey, you should chase me!"

"Huh?"

"Rom-com style. You'll get there at the last minute and beg me to stay; make a big fuss, make some people uncomfortable..."

Renly laughed, "Maybe I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	8. Eight

  
Renly sat on Loras's hotel bed and groaned.

"God, no wonder you can't wait to leave," he complained, shifting uncomfortably on the lumpy, thin mattress, "This is inhumane."

"Right?" Loras nodded, "I thought it was a joke when I first got here."

"I've been meaning to ask; why this hotel? Surely you can afford better."

Loras rolled his eyes, "My father has a deal with the owners. He sends his employees here for corporate trips and they give him discounts. Though after sleeping on that, I'm surprised anyone still works for him."

Renly hummed and nodded. Loras whirled around the room looking under pillows and triple checking the bathroom before he announced he was ready to leave.

"I'm not ready for you to leave." Renly said glumly.

Loras patted him on the cheek as he passed with his suitcase.

  
-

  
Once they were seated and waiting for Loras's plane, a sense of urgency hit Renly. He knew he couldn't convince Loras to stay. It was too late for that, but he also wasn't ready to say goodbye. Not without knowing for sure that they'd see each other again.

"I'll try and make it back as soon as possible," Loras assured him when he asked, "In a couple of months or so, when you've settled in with... well, y'know."

"A couple of months?" Renly repeated, "Loras-"

"It's the best I can do." Loras said sternly, "Isn't that enough?"

"No." Renly said petulantly, "No, it's not enough. Surely you can do better than that?"

Loras looked affronted, "Excuse me, I don't hear you offering to come visit me!"

Renly spluttered, "You said if I even thought about it you'd toss me off the balcony!"

"Yeah, if you thought of moving. I didn't mean you can't visit. I'd love for you to see my home. And meet my family."

Renly smiled, pleased at the thought.

Loras scoffed at his warm, lovesick expression, "Dork."

A cool voice rang out over the system, annoucing Loras's flight would be boarding in five minutes. Renly whined.

"I don't want you to go." he repeated for what seemed the twentieth time.

"You've really got to work on this clingy thing, it's not doing you any favors," Loras retorted, but with no real heat behind his words.

Loras actually looked like he was also struggling with leaving, his hand hovering restlessly over his suitcase and his boarding pass looking a little worse for wear in his other hand from constant nervous folding. Suddenly he turned to Renly with wide, earnest eyes.

"In a couple of months when I come back, we'll talk." he insisted.

"Talk?"

"I want to be with you too, Renly, you know that." Loras said, gripping Renly's knee, "But you're starting a whole new chapter of your life and what you want might be different very soon."

"I-"

"No, listen," Loras interrupted, "If you still want to- us, when I get back..."

Renly blinked.

"Really?"

Loras nodded, "We can work on the long distance thing, or I can ask for a transfer. Or you can come study at Highgarden. I don't know, we'll figure something out."

Renly nodded so hard he though he might need to see a chiropractor.

"Okay," he said, unable to resist pressing a quick, chaste kiss on Loras's lips, "Okay."

Loras grinned and gathered his suitcase, joining the queue to board his plane.

"Well, good luck with the job hunt. Although I expect you to call me with updates every step of the way," Loras ordered sternly, "None of this 'I was going to' rubbish."

Renly laughed sheepishly, "I will. Have a safe flight."

"Thank you."

Loras was next in line to board and Renly's heart was thumping a painful rhythm against his ribcage.

"Loras..."

"Yes?"

"Boarding pass, sir?"

"I love you."

Loras stared, wide eyed, and then he beamed.

"I'll see you in a few months."

And then he was walking away. Renly felt numb. Elated, hopeful and lovesick, but numb. He allowed himself to be shunted away from the line by an annoyed looking woman, eyes trained on Loras's retreating form, noting the bounce in his step that in turn made his curls dance. Renly stayed, face nearly pressed up against the window, to watch Loras's plane take off, and then to watch the speck in the sky disappear from sight. And then he stayed a little longer, drinking coffee and watching the planes until he was sure he was fit to drive.

  
-

  
Renly barely remembered he was supposed to go back to work from the airport, having to pull some questionable U-turns when he realised. He went through the motions of the day, barely registering a thing. The only memorable moment in which he wasn't thinking about Loras was at lunch when he was cornered by Stannis.

"Robert told me you're leaving."

"Hm?" Renly swung around, resisting the urge to groan, "Oh, yes. Yeah. Time for a change."

"I understand your... restlessness. It's been a difficult year and I doubt it'll get any easier soon," Stannis said tightly, "But you're needed here."

Renly scowled, "No I'm not. Thousands of poor souls could do my job."

"But none of them are family. None of them can be trusted like you."

Renly sneered, "Guilt in flattery's costume doesn't work on me anymore, Stannis. I know what you mean. Nobody can turn a blind eye to Robert's indiscretions like I can, you mean?"

"Don't be petulant." Stannis ordered, "If you want me to treat you like an adult then start acting like one."

Renly sighed and forced an easy smile onto his face, "You can insult me all you like. I know where this is coming from. You're angry you didn't have the guts to do it years ago; get out of this place. Now it's too late for you to go and find something that truly makes you happy. That feels worthwhile."

"Being happy has nothing to do with this, Renly." Stannis snapped, "I don't appreciate you jeopardizing this company just because you want to go off and live your life as... abnormally as you want."

Renly raised an eyebrow, "Oh, you mean go off and be a queer? Is that what's got you so worked up? You're afraid people will find out?"

"You should be afraid, Renly, and ashamed."

"And yet..." Renly shrugged, "Here I am; neither."

Stannis was silent. Renly turned back to the tea he was making, waiting for the final word that he knew Stannis needed to have.

"You are abandoning your family."

Renly sighed again and shook his head.

"No, Stannis. I'm not running away to join the circus. I couldn't abandon you lot even if I wanted to." he surveyed his brother wearily, "I was lying, by the way. It's not too late for you."

Stannis left without a word, which, as hollow as it was, felt like a victory to Renly.

  
-

  
When he got home, Renly ordered Chinese takeout for two and ate it all in front of the television. He turned on a lame action movie in the hopes that it would be just loud enough to drown out his thoughts, but no such luck. Loras had been around for less than a week but Renly felt disoriented, like he'd been up in the clouds for months and had just crashed down to normality.

Too soon, his heart began to race the way it did whenever he got scared and overwhelmed. His thoughts turned to what the hell he was going to do when the week was up. Robert had offered to pay him for the rest of the month and he accepted gratefully (if a little shamefully), but that was only a short term balm. Once he started feeling flushed and suffocated in his own panic, he quickly retreated to the balcony to light a cigarette. The cool night air was like a splash of water on his face and Renly was able to switch off and smoke for a few minutes. Until his phone vibrated in his pocket, the display announcing a text from Loras.

_Renly, I'm so sorry I made you wait. I was gonna text you when I got on the plane but the bitch in the pencil skirt told me to shut my phone off. I love you too, Renly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just the epilogue to go!!


	9. Epilogue

_Five months later..._

 

"Look, Renly, this one has a dishwasher." Loras turned his laptop screen.

"But three bedrooms," Renly pointed out, "And only one car space."

"Oh." Loras murmured into a wide yawn and Renly chuckled at him.

The newspaper in Renly's hands was blatantly absent anything appropriate for them so he set it aside in favor of looking over Loras's shoulder at the online listings. Loras moved his free hand that wasn't scrolling to thread his fingers through Renly's and Renly pressed a kiss to his shoulder, breathing deep the smell of skin and hotel linen.

"That one's nice."

Loras hummed, "Non-smoker, though."

They shared grimaces. It was becoming apparent the more they apartment-hunted that they might need to properly consider giving up the cigarettes.

"It is pretty," Renly muttered as Loras clicked through the photos, "I could be convinced."

Loras frowned, "It's a bit out of our price range, don't you think?"

It was Renly's turn to sigh and he pulled away, rolling back to his side of the bed. Immediately, Loras set his laptop aside and followed him, hooking his leg over Renly's waist and burying his face in his neck.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled.

Renly rolled his eyes, "You have nothing to apologise for. I'm the genius who took 'sea change' to the extreme."

Loras looked up at him and scowled the way he always did when Renly talked about regretting quitting his job.

"I'm just over it." Renly sighed, carding a hand through Loras's curls, "I'm sick of hotels. I'm sick of having to get on a plane every time I want to see my boyfriend. It's embarrassing that I can't afford somewhere like that. I mean, it's a one-bedroom, for fucks sake."

Loras pressed his forehead against Renly's and huffed heavily. They kissed lightly, more lips breathing over one another than anything.

"I know." Loras whispered simply.

Loras was right to admonish him, though. Quitting was the best thing Renly had ever done in his life. The problem was that finding work had been harder than either of them could predict. While his previous experience was an impressive title, it was glaringly obvious by just his last name that Renly had glided through most of his career on familial benefits. It had been a joke when he'd mentioned it the first time, but as his savings started getting eaten up by student fees and textbook hire, Renly was almost ready to start actually considering fast food.

The constant hotel bills were no help, either. Despite spending most of their time together in Highgarden, Loras refused to stay with his family, much to Renly's disappointment. He'd been charmed from the instant he met the Tyrells some months back. But according to Loras, there was more to them than the sweet, happy family dynamic and underneath the facade lay a monster ready to strike. Or at least tease mercilessly. From his previous experience with Margaery and upon meeting the two other siblings, Renly didn't doubt that they would be a lethal force. But all joking aside, they were both desperate to find somewhere to live.

Eventually, the slow kisses tinged with defeat warped into something more heated. Loras's tongue slid into his mouth and Renly sucked on it as he moved his hands to Loras's hips. Loras pulled away only briefly to reseat himself further down Renly's body so that when he dropped back down to reclaim his lips, their half-hard cocks met through the fabric of their pyjamas. Renly sucked in a breath at the slow grind that Loras began and he clutched his arse hard, encouraging his movements. Loras grunted the way he always did when Renly groped him like that and Renly made to move his hand down between them when Loras suddenly sat up.

"I have to go to work," he annoucing shakily, making to dismount, "I've got twenty minutes to get ready."

Renly clasped his hands under Loras's knees, holding him still astride his waist and shook his head.

"We've got time." he protested, lifting his hips to watch Loras's eyes flutter.

"No we don't, Renly," Loras shook his head and Renly had to admire his will power, "I have to work and you have to prep for your interview later."

Truthfully, Renly had completely forgotten about his job interview at lunch time, though he didn't let on. Instead, he feigned a moan.

"That's hot. Keep saying things like that."

Loras rolled his eyes, fighting a grin, "Let me take a shower."

Renly shook his head, sitting up and kneading Loras's arse in his hands.

"We've got time." he repeated, pressing his tongue against Loras's throat.

Loras's hand immediately clutched the back of his head, holding him in place. His hips began to move again, tiny circular undulations that promised victory for Renly.

"Okay," Loras gasped out as Renly lay back down, bringing Loras with him, "Fine. You have T-minus five minutes to get us both off or I'm leaving."

"Done."

He flipped their positions and sat back to pull Loras's pyjama pants off, slipping his own down his hips. Loras locked his ankles around Renly's ribs and pulled him back down and Renly rutted against him, moaning at the skin-on-skin contact. Loras gave as good as he got, thrusting hard up as Renly bore down and spreading his legs wider until his joints popped. He looped his arms around Renly's neck and pulled him down for a kiss as rough as the rhythm they set with their hips. When they pulled back for air, Renly stared down into Loras's eyes only to realise his attention was elsewhere. His hips stuttered their movement as he looked around.

"Wha- Loras, don't watch your watch while we fuck!" he admonished breathlessly.

"Sorry!" Loras chuckled sheepishly, "I don't want to be late again. There's only so many excuses I can think up."

Renly rolled his eyes and rested his weight on one hand, using the free one to snatch Loras's watch-arm and pin it to the bed. He slammed his hips forward in one long, powerful movement and all humor left Loras's face as he threw his head back and yelped.

"Oh, fuck!"

There was no time for them to fuck, but it was a matter of pride now that Renly had to make Loras come hard and breathlessly. He released Loras's wrist and sucked two fingers into his mouth, wetting them quickly before hooking his arm under Loras's leg. Loras's thrusts were already getting urgent and the intensity increased the minute Renly brushed his entrance.

"Do it," Loras whined, "I'm so close, please..."

Renly obeyed, pressing into him and loving the way Loras's whole body lifted, shoulders pressing hard against the mattress as his torso surged up against Renly. He pumped his fingers in and out of Loras hard, crooking them just right to make Loras whimper. The sounds hit Renly's gut and his head dropped to Loras's shoulder, panting onto his collarbone.

Loras was the first to come and Renly thought he'd done a good job of restoring his honor as he watched his lover gasp for breath, a deep crease forming between his brows.

"Fuck, _fuck_ Renly!" he cried, fingers clenching in his hair, "Yes!"

Renly couldn't watch for long, however. The sudden wetness between them and the feel of Loras's hand grabbing his arse, encouraging him, pushed him to the edge. His hips worked wildly, grinding his cock against Loras's sweat and come slick stomach until he groaned loudly, eyes squeezed tight against the onslaught of blind pleasure.

Sensitive and boneless from his orgasm, Loras moaned as he watched Renly's release, stroking a hand back through his hair to watch the way his jaw clenched and his lips pulled in a small snarl. The last of the aftershocks caused Renly to tremor, arms suddenly feeling the weight of himself, and he collapsed back onto the bed next to Loras.

"I should never have agreed to that," Loras said breathlessly after they lay panting for some time, "I don't want to move now."

Renly chuckled and kissed him.

"I believe in you," he teased, smacking him lightly on the arse, "Now go."

Loras moaned and groaned the whole way, stretching his arms above his head. Renly watched the way the muscles of his long back moved under soft, lightly tanned skin and grinned.

"What?" Loras noticed his expression.

"It's good to be Renly Baratheon."

Loras snorted as he stumbled to the bathroom and Renly didn't miss the way his knees gave a little as he walked. Once the door was shut and he heard the hot water running, Renly stretched, spread eagle on the bed. He flexed his tired limbs and yawned wide, feeling his jaw click. Their situation wasn't perfect, he knew. They could only see each other when money and work (in Loras's case) allowed and lately they'd spent more time missing each other than not. But, Renly thought as he revelled in post-orgasm bliss with come drying fast on his stomach and the sound of his boyfriend humming in the shower, it was worth it. Every goodbye, every fight over who paid for flights, every tearful phone call; Renly knew despite all that, he was happier now than he'd ever been in his life.

Loras emerged from the shower to smile down at Renly, stretched out and arching like a cat. As he refastened his watch around his wrist, he leaned down and kissed him thoroughly. Despite how his fingers twitched, Renly knew better than to curl his fingers in Loras's hair just after he'd styled it, so he compromised by rubbing their faces together and feeling the curls brush against his forehead. Until Loras pulled away and winced, bringing a hand up to rub against Renly's stubble-covered cheek.

"Shave before your interview,"

Renly might've scowled at being treated like a child, but they both knew he needed the reminder. Once Renly started the interview circuit, he'd made the grim decision to shave the beard. Loras had been crushed, maybe even moreso than Renly.

"Will you come by and see me after?" Loras asked once he'd moved away to rummage through his suitcase for a shirt.

Renly hummed lowly as if considering, but they both knew he would. Aside from just generally wanting to be close while they could, job interviews always left Renly a slight nervous wreck. It had become somewhat of a ritual, that Renly would visit Loras at work after an interview to divulge and dissect every word exchanged.

"If I can manage to take two steps without dissolving into a sobbing mess," Renly muttered, "Sure."

Loras rolled his eyes as he collected his jacket, but when he crossed back to the bed to kiss Renly goodbye his expression was completely earnest.

"You'll nail it, Ren," he promised, one hand clasped on Renly's chin and the other curled in his hair, "And if you don't, it doesn't matter."

"It does."

"It doesn't." Loras promised, kissing him as firmly as his tone, "I can be patient. I've waited this long for you, haven't I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this is it, guys. Thank you so, so much from the bottom of my heart for all the amazing comments, for being patient with me when I lost my original file, and just for reading. I really hope you enjoyed this, I had a blast writing it despite the hiccups. Rest assured, I'll be back with more Renly/Loras fics in the future, whether you like it or not! Ya'll are just too sweet, I can't stay away :P xxx


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